Balance of softness and strength

The concept of boundaries has always been an enigma. I have been searching for, as long as I can remember, a way to strike the balance of softness and strength, openness and self-assurance. And isn’t that what we were are all looking for? To come into our fullest potential or fullest expression of ourselves creatively, showcasing strengths and gifts all the while being open. But what gets in the way? Our confidence is often thrown off by events that shake us down and knock us off our feet, leaving us feeling vulnerable and insecure. As a result, we construct walls, gates, moats and space around ourselves, rendering us distant, protected and safe. But are we safe? Are we truly protected from the pain by locking all the doors and windows only to realize that the things we are trying to protect ourselves from are constantly bumping up against us in life. Additionally, behind these deep barriers our true light within cannot shine through. Our auras are darkened, and we are muted in our day to day lives. We become depressed, going through the motions, disconnected from ourselves and our lives. We may feel our life lacks purpose and isn’t what we actually want for ourselves, but we don’t know where to start.

We begin to send out a vibration into the universe attacking that which we are desperately trying to avoid. But the universe, so wise in its design, knows exactly what we need most to bring us forward in our life. It wants us to realize within ourselves that we can be strong and vulnerable at the same time giving us a chance to finally heal. For example, those that have a pattern of not speaking up or advocating for their needs might find themselves constantly surrounded by relationships with highly-selfish people. They stand by, year after year, as their partner or friends take their share of self-care, having goals and dreams met, while they swallow their own inner voice only to be run down with health issues. While others may find themselves afraid of expressing the emotion of anger in a positive way. Perhaps they grew up in home where anger was overly emotional and now they feel uncomfortable with those feelings. So, they swallow their anger, ignoring the tripwire that is in place within the body to say ‘no thank you’ to whomever has pushed that button. Their body becomes overwhelmed with heat resulting in fatigue and depression. The voice within a faint distant memory.

So how do we begin to find our way back to listening to our inner wise voice. Our way back to that childlike innocence of openness, trust and vulnerability? To face our life situations and challenges that keep coming up everywhere we turn. We must cultivate a strong relationship with ourselves. Loving ourselves so deeply, that will give us the strength and courage to be just as we are no more, no less than anyone else. Just us. We must honor our vision of what is important to us. We must cultivate deep self-respect so that we can hold that for others. We cannot truly give away that which we do not FIRST give to ourselves. This is TRUTH. It is a very slow process, but it begins with making it a priority in our lives. Loving ourselves into wholeness will create a beautiful earth for all generations to come. We will allow others to have their needs met when we meet and advocate for ours. Taking our fair share, not too much, just the right amount. We find the middle path, the balance of life, moderation.


Because of my interest in healing with energy I do take the time to mediate and heal every day. This may seem like a lot, but I can honestly say a lot of healing can happen within 5 minutes. Miracles are not constrained by time or space so if all you have is 5 minutes to stop, get still and really connect with that deeper part of who you really are. Get to know you from the inside out. Get comfortable with the Creator! I know it will make a big difference in your life. You can do this in the car, in bed, at yoga, on a train, waiting in line. Closing your eyes, place your hand on your heart, and sink into loving acceptance, gratitude and openness for love, light and peace to enter into you so that you may live it and share it with whomever you meet. This will give you the strength to listen to that wise internal voice, to make that a positive change in your life that you know deep down you need. You may feel inspired in your job to creatively make a unique suggestion at work. Loving yourself will be the way that you can lower the boundaries of protection, your body will soften, your heart will open. Your light will begin to shine and the fountain of youth, the creative passion within will begin to rise.

Sure, we will run into painful moments, but they will be small moments and your willingness to get back out there will return. We all retreat when we have been hurt, to recalibrate and rest. This is part of the human experience, but it is in our return to openness, our decision to live transparently and authentically that gives us our FREEDOM back at last. As I surrendered and accepted wholeheartedly my life situation as it was, as I softened and began to drop my resistances day in and day out, new openings appeared in my life. I was truly able to cultivate more gratitude, healing love, light and peace into my life. I have deeper more meaningful exchanges with almost anyone I meet. If I meet someone they automatically sense how open and inviting I am, so they feel safe and open to me. It’s like being best friends with everyone. I get to meet the most amazing people this way because they are not afraid to show me who they are!! I so suggest this approach to cultivate community and connection to you. Sure, it took time to get into this state of being, but I have dedicated my life’s mission to helping others to achieve and realize this state of freedom and liberation. It is my definition of enlightenment !

As you know, I host various guided healing mediations and offer one-on-one healing sessions to help heal and soften the frozen pain and trauma that keeps that distance. Let your light shine through!!



Jennifer Kilmer