Spring is finally here

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Yes, spring is finally here! Excitement is in the air; the streets are filled with people coming out from a long winter’s slumber for sun and stretch. I find myself craving more and more exercise, lighter foods and lighter clothes! We are letting go, finally. I see the freedom riders (motorcycles) have hit the road and construction projects are in full swing. We are busy executing our visions and goals that we had set down at Spring Equinox in March. We were delayed in putting them into motion as April kept most of us inside. The delay however afforded us more time to reflect on the gap between where our life currently sat and what we are striving to achieve. 

True to form, Mercury retrogrades nudging’s between March 23 and April 15 delivered! If you are not familiar with it. Mercury goes in retrograde three times this year. Each time we may feel little or depending on your situation, a lot of discomfort. The planet Mercury rules communication, travel, contracts, automobiles, and it can be called a shadow period. So, when Mercury is retrograde, remain flexible, allow time for rest and reflection, extra travel, and avoid signing contracts. Review your projects and plans at these times, do your inner work. We are shown where our resistances to life lie, and were we may be holding onto and asked to ‘reconsider’ ourselves. It is a time of contraction so to prepare for the expansion! 

For me personally this time I experienced the deeper meaning of trust. As most of you know we have listed our home for sale to downsize to a smaller property. This has been a long process and we have been listed now for 6 months. During that time, many potential lovely homes have been listed and sold and we have had to sit patiently. It has been a challenge not knowing or having any control over our destiny. It has been especially difficult because of my gifts to see forward in time and to see pathways and potentials, I have had to put my complete faith in the universe’s plan for our family. Control has been an ongoing process of surrender over the course of my life. Control was born out of response to trauma and unwanted things happening. If I maintain complete control then uncomfortable things won’t happen to me. Makes sense! I have been a very controlling person most of my life pushing ‘my agenda but as I have found my way more and more on the spiritual path, I have learned to go more and more with the flow of the river of life. Each time I have asserted my agenda and forced a door to open or close, I have felt the swift response of my actions (karma). More and more, I have learned to allow and trust to take action when it felt right, and it always worked out. Life took on a more natural organic process. I have been able to do this for almost all aspects of my life EXCEPT this, selling my home. I wanted to make it happen and immediately. Now looking back, I am grateful for the time that shackled us, as this delay has prevented us from making decisions based on limited viewpoints. 

So, with that I share a divine inspired experience I had last week that said TRUST ME, I have a plan…. 

Each day this winter as I would walk or drive down our long road I would be annoyed with the amount of garbage that has been tossed or blown into the treeline. It makes me sad, but I often forget about it as soon as I arrive home as I would move on to attend to other things. Last week I decided to take action, Earth day was coming, and it was my way of contributing to the community cleanup. A large Costco bag had blown into the treeline, so I decided to pick it up and go the beginning of the road and pick up as much garbage as I could manage. The size of the bag would surely be enough room as it was so big. As I began my mission of collecting I was not even 1/3 finished when the bag reached full capacity. Just as I put the last possible item in the bag, I found another empty shopping bag amongst the trees, small but it would do the trick, so I continued. Struck by the perfect timing of the bag I thought to myself this couldn’t possibly be happening, how interesting. No sooner was it full that again in perfect synchronist I came across another bag. Thinking to myself, this is crazy how am I so fortunate to have this happen this can’t be really happening. Laughing to myself, I continued. The bag had quite a hole in it, but I was able to grab more garbage from the treeline and just as things started to fall out, sure enough another bag appeared. Personal divine experiences are just that, personal.  They are difficult to express into words. Trust me, I realize the experience was meant for me and so the depth of peace and connection I felt in those moments as the bags appeared one after another, so I could finish my task, is probably insignificant, but the message was profound. As I expected, at this point as I put the last item of garbage in the bag, the bag was pretty much full. I was overwhelmed with presence at this point. A deep feeling of trust me (the creator), took over. I knew in that moment, very clearly, my part. I had to initiate action, I listed to the irritability or catalyst of wanting to clean up the earth, I took up my task and with complete faith of no expectations of the outcome moved forward. I was provided at each bend in the road the tools I needed. I just needed to show up and have faith.  I experienced a very small version of the ‘hero’s journey’ that morning. Showing up in itself is hard. I know it is, but one thing I can tell you is when I spiritually woke up about 15 years ago now, I made a promise to myself that no matter what I would show up every day. 

The entire time I worked, I heard in my mind the sweet song of Johnny Appleseed that morning. 

Oh, the Lord is good to me,
And so, I thank the Lord
For giving me the things I need
The sun, and the rain, and the apple seed.
The Lord is good to me.

Funny I could hear the words clear as day as I did my work but today as I write this post I had to google them. They were there when I needed them. They kept reminding me that all is provided. Divine grace is all around us. We may feel abandoned alone and our prayers and messages disregarded but I promise you they are not. Sometimes that feeling of abandonment is just the gap waiting for us to take action. So, I leave my future of where I will land with the universe as I know it will be exactly where and what my family needs. I hope this message of trust may bring you comfort. 

I will be hosting many events in May if you are interested in participating please get in touch with me!

Jen

Jennifer Kilmer